~by Beloved Heartsong
originally published in Inner Change Online Magazine-
also published in Mountain Spirit Chronicles, Mt. Shasta CA-
Time seems to be speeding up at ever increasing rates. Trying to keep up the pace is no longer a challenge – even for someone who is great at organizing and multi-tasking. I find myself wanting to wave the white flag of surrender. I have realized that continuing to speed up is out of the question – that slowing down is the motion of choice. More and more, becoming ever still, silent and present for life and myself is more appealing in any given moment than almost anything else. I find myself wanting to let go of how I might direct and accomplish things and simply and faithfully let Spirit move me.
In the past few years, I have been regularly doing sacred tantric dance, and love teaching it! I have been looking at how the different aspects of it are paralleled in my life. In this profound and sacred work, you put aside your thoughts and what you think you know and open yourself to be danced – by the divine – by your Higher Self. The incredible freedom and blessing of this work comes as you surrender to your own Higher intelligence. So too, it is in life. We can bend or break, or we can dance.
Surreptitiously, the divine arrives at your door, carried by a fierce, yet gentle wind, if only danced. Resistance brings pain and struggle. And the choice to surrender and allow the blessing.
Fear of the unknown or participating in anticipating, can be a destructive process that is an embracing of that which you do not desire. Most do not realize how they have developed their skills of negative manifestation. Most do not realize their choice to learn through pain.
Through programming from almost all levels of society and life, we have learned to judge and identify ourselves and self worth by what we do. The more we can handle and bear, the more we relish the “oohs” and “aahs” of impressed others. We like being proficient at multi-tasking, organizing, managing and churning out more and more in less and less time.
The problem with this is that we are striving to attain superhuman status – opting to control the divine wind persistently knocking at our door – rather than opening the front and back doors to let it move through. We often ignore and/or resist until the wind builds enough pressure to not only blow the door off its hinges, but to create disarray, chaos and seeming destruction of the illusory walls of our lives.
All that we have built around us as a safe haven from “what’s out there,” must come tumbling down. These boundaries of separation fall away as all untruths do. Who are we without them? Who are we if we stop striving to attain superhuman status? If we stop doing and doing and doing, how will we be known and judged?
As time seems to speed up and our lives seem to be in warped speed and focus, how do we “hold it together?” The answer is, we don’t. We never have. We have participated in the belief system that we run our lives, yet have accepted the rules and mores of family, society, religion, mass consciousness and fear – THE “F” word. What if we actually realized how much we are fueled by it? Paralyzed by it? Motivated by it? The subversive nature of it is what creates the storms that knock persistently.
If we choose to allow ourselves to slow down and look at who we are, to open the doors to our hearts and lives rather than fortify walls, we are better prepared to allow the Grace of Spirit to move through; to bend and shape us and our lives in ways we have yet to imagine. We can not keep up the pace, for we are learning to be present in our lives – not storm chasers. What we fear and try with all our might to control and manipulate must show itself over and over again in infinite form and power so that we release, take a deep breath, let go and let God.
We have been taught that to surrender or to be open and vulnerable is extreme weakness and even stupid. This was taught by those whose subversive fear rules within. All great masters and leaders of peace and non-violence will tell you there is nothing to fear but fear itself; that the war within creates the battlefields of our experience.
Who but ourselves can change this? Which part of us will win? And, why must any part be denied? Those aspects of self still in struggle are calling for peaceful reunion with life, not bigger walls and further separation, but NO walls.
And, without walls, the world is our family, our hearts are our homes, we live under one sky. Here we see our true responsibility – to be fully present for ourselves and each other, to be the love we are, to find, remember and inspire it in each other.
We have been taught that the path of life is to out-perform each other, to amass physical wealth and then guard it until we die. How is it we ever believed that story? Must we choose to perpetuate it?
The burnout and disconnection from Self we experience in trying to increase the pace and control of our lives is not a required course. We can give ourselves permission to choose anew. This is a time to stop and truly evaluate how we will choose to carry out our lives and work here on Earth. Our bodies, minds, Spirits and lives need peace, rest, gentleness and tenderness. Our hearts need to give and receive love. Our fears need to be put in their place and brought to light. Our walls and ideas of being separate need to crumble.
Opening the front door to allow life in and opening the back door to allow your pain, past and fear based thought forms and structures to be carried out on the breeze will not only keep your life from imploding, but will give permission to Spirit to work more gently and effectively in your life.
We are not dancing alone – ever. Our internal walls and moats that have kept us from remembering and living the truth of love and effortless Grace that is always available are ours to dismantle. If we slow down and allow this level of life in, we’ll hear and enjoy the music more, we’ll feel it within as it stirs us to move. The melody will carry us and the rhythm will set our pace. Let us choose to be our own and each others partners in this dance as we follow life’s lead…as the divine dances us…they’re playing our song!